Some thoughts on breastfeeding

I have to say that when I was pregnant, I read lots of books about breastfeeding, I went to a breastfeeding class at Piedmont (which I HIGHLY recommend) and talked to as many women as I could about how to succeed. However, I was sort of dubious towards a lot of these resources. There is this sort of hippy dippy undertone in a lot of the literature that's all very "Earth Mother" and to be honest, I've always found that sort of annoying. I remember at one of my baby showers, which my stepmom held at Pastis in Roswell, I saw a woman with her two toddlers and husband breastfeeding at a table out in the middle of the dining room. Pastis is a very nice restaurant, like with a chef. It struck me as sort of rude to breastfeed in there, and maybe even sort of rude to bring toddlers to such a fancy place. However, that's an entirely different topic. I assumed that I would NEVER breastfeed in public, which I haven't (unless you count the lounge areas of department store bathrooms, where patrons gave me the stink eye while I nursed).

Now I'm sort of coming around to the hippy dippy viewpoints in some ways. My daughter HATES the bottle. Which has been frustrating and upsetting this week, since it's her first week in day care. This also makes it tricky to eat out or even go shopping. I'm starting to feel like I could just tuck her under a blanket and let her nurse through dinner at a local restaurant. It would certainly be easy to do. She's still pretty little right now and isn't too terribly active while eating. But I just don't know if I could do it. People really don't like it.

Also, I've come to really love nursing Roxanne. She is so affectionate, and holds onto me while eating. She sometimes looks up at me while she's eating, and I think about how content I can make her and how much I am giving her by breastfeeding, and it really melts my heart. Sometimes she is in a playful mood while she eats and smiles at me and wriggles around, all the while being very sure to stay eating. There are also times when she is very businesslike, and focused on her task at hand. If her daddy tries to kiss her while she's in this mood, she swats an arm at him, like he's a threat. These are moments I will treasure when she is a big kid, and no longer nestled up to me, our breathing falling into the same pattern as I ruffle and smooth her baby hair.